I Bury the Living 2003 Horror Movie Review

Newly appointed cemetery chairman Robert Craft (Richard Boone) notices some odd things about his new post: a creepy sense of déjà vu, an inability to get heat in the caretaker’s shack, and Andy the caretaker’s Scottish accent, one of the thickest in all cinematic history. Craft soon discovers to his horror that sticking pins into his map of the cemetery seems to make people die. As if this weren’t bad enough, no one believes him. As Craft grows more and more distraught, his forehead covered in some of the most brightly glistening sweat you’ve ever seen, people keep trying to prove it’s all a coincidence by getting him to stick more and more pins in the map. Though hilariously overwrought, I Bury the Living does take a couple of nice creepy twists at the end. Never before has a movie so eloquently made the case for keeping cemetery records in a text-only database. —Ali Davis