Dracula the Dirty Old Man / Guess What Happened to Count Dracula 2002 Horror Movie Review

Dracula, The Dirty Old Man (1969, 69 min.) - Reporter Mike Waters enters a desert cave and finds Dracula the Dirty Old Man, a vampire babbling like a borscht-belt comic and wearing a hairpiece that resembles a dead skunk. Under Dracula’s spell and renamed “Irving Jackalman,” Mike turns into a werewolf-like creature and attacks women in parking lots, gas stations, and even a drive-in! The women are magically whisked away to the cave where Drac drains ‘em and “Irving” mains ‘em until the two ghouls fight over dibs on Mike’s luscious girlfriend. A totally discombobulated skinflick mix of sex, horror, and dumb jokes, this may be the single most deranged Dracula movie ever made. Oy! “Guess What Happened to Count Dracula” (1970, 78 min.) - Give up? Well, after changing his name to “Count Adrian,” he and a motley bunch of monsters opened a Hollywood nightspot known as Dracula’s Dungeon—also headquarters for his attempt to turn lovely Angelica into an undead girlfriend courtesy of three separate neck gnaws. Listen carefully—that whirling sound you hear is Bram Stoker spinning in his grave!