Bluebeard 2000 Horror Movie Review

Baron von Sepper (Richard Burton, who seems to sleepwalk through the film), a European aristocrat of vaguely Germanic heritage, marries and murders a succession of international lovelies (among them Raquel Welch,  Virna Lisi, Nathalie Delon, and Marilù Tolo) before his seventh bride,  peppy but coy showgirl Joey Heatherton, discovers his secret in a frozen basement museum. Would you believe the Baron is just a nice guy who’s a poor judge of character? A man who loves deeply but perhaps not too wisely? Or that he harbors a deep, troubling psychosexual secret? Director Edward Dmytryk (The Caine Mutiny), who also cowrote this Euro-pudding coproduction, tosses in a bit of all three as he barrels through his reign of terror. He even attempts to milk laughs from a few of the executions, but despite its upbeat pace it drags through unnecessary exposition and dull,  dead patches of life-size kewpie doll Heatherton padding around his castle.  Richard Burton struggles with a hoary stage beard and a dull screenplay that labors under the pretense of wit to deliver a bored performance. This 1972 production gets some mileage from its guest cast (most of whom offer a tantalizing flash of flesh before succumbing to the Baron’s homicidal impulses), but winds up as lifeless as Burton’s vacant, weary stare. —Sean Axmaker