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Title: Legion of the Dead (2007) Starring: Bruce Boxleitner, Zach Galligan, Andrew Lauer, Courtney Clonch, and Claudia Lynx Director: Paul Bales Rating: R (Restricted) Runtime: 83 minutes Avg. Score: 2 Submit Comment Hits: 6

Review of Legion of the Dead

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Comments for Legion of the Dead

• Posted on 2008-05-30
  So very, very awful.
  
  Legion of the Dead (Paul Bales, 2005)
  
  I truly thought that I would never see a worse zombie movie than Oasis of the Dead, Jess Franco's early-eighties entry into the Nazi Zombie subgenre. Until, that is, last weekend, when I had the distinct displeasure to see Legion of the Dead, a movie so unbearably awful that I kept asking myself "why am I sitting through this?" as I did so. I'll tell you why, dear reader: so you don't have to.
  
  This incredibly misnamed movie (the "legion" is actually a grand total of seven) focuses on an archaeological expedition aimed at uncovering and exploring an Egyptian tomb, complete with hieroglyphics. No one seems to have noticed that said tomb seems to be in southern California, complete with skater dudes and cars with California license plates. The main inhabitant of the tomb is Aneh-Tet (eye-popping Iranian beauty Claudia Lynx), a four thousand year old high priestess, and the secondary inhabitants are her six-member honor guard. When one of the aforementioned skater dudes crashes through a hole, Aneh-Tet wakes up, takes his soul to power one of her honor guard, and simply waits for the media attention that she seems to know will come from finding an Egyptian tomb in southern California. It comes, of course, and brings with it a raft of Hollywood has-beens, including Bruce Boxleitner and Zach Galligan. It also brings a somewhat unsurprising number of the young and nubile, including lead actress Courtney Clonch, who plays bookish, bespectacled, plucky Molly, the other side of Aneh-Tet's coin. And, well, maybe having these two together in a movie is enough to get you to watch (especially since Lynx spends a decent portion of her screen time wearing nothing but a scowl and some jewelry). The problem is, there's not all that much actual movie to go with it. It plays out like a basic slasher movie, but without any of the suspense, comedy, or even romance one might expect to find in a slasher film. Now, I grant you, this movie does attempt all those things. (To be fair, it does manage to pull off a few comedic bits.) It does so, however, in a technical framework incompetent enough to have put an Egyptian tomb in southern California. I mean, come on.
  
  One of the worst movies I've seen this year, and believe me, that's saying something. (half)
  
  Score: 1
• Posted on 2008-05-06
  Predictable but entertaining
  
  I liked it, but it lacked something. Maybe it just needed a larger budget. The storyline was okay. The filming fair to good, not a low budget feel. I always enjoy an egyptian motiff.
  Score: 2