Sci Fi: Attack of the Monsters/Gammera the Invincible 2005 Horror Movie Review

“Gamera vs. Guiron - Attack of the Monsters”


It seems like Japan is visited by more monsters and aliens than any other location on earth; a sort of Bermuda triangle of monsters.  I have to believe that someone has generated at least one college paper based on the incredible coincidence of monsters and Japan.  This time we have three children looking through a low-power telescope when an alien spacecraft lands nearly in their backyard.  The obvious choices for the children would seem to be, a) tell their mother, b) call the police, or c) climb aboard the spacecraft and journey to another planet populated by brain-sucking babes.  You can guess which answer wins.


Leaving little sister Akio behind, Tom and Akio climb into the space ship and journey to another planet Gamera shows up and, other than breathing nicely and making growly monster noises in the vacuum of outer space, tries to keep the spacecraft from landing on planet Terra (do not be confused with our planet named Terra - I am sure you can see the immediate distinction between names).


Once on the planet, Tom and Akio immediately encounter Guiron and Gaos.  Unfortunately, this early scene generates a huge laugh when Gaos’s foot is lasered off.  Seriously, this scene is unintentionally funny.  The movie continues a downhill slide from here.


The boys soon encounter the only two inhabitants of planet Terra, two females hungry for boy brain.  The movie never explains why boy brain is a delicacy on Terra.  Through a variety of machinations and Gamera, who clearly was preparing for the summer Olympics (in yet another hilarious scene) the boys and Gamera are able to escape back to the earth and the end of this film, thereby ending their movie career.


It is usually at this point where I point out the redeeming values of this movie and explain how much you should watch it.  The problem is that this movie is a cheesy monster movie with bad costumes for the monsters.  Gamera is too rubbery in some scenes.  You can see one of Guiron’s seams in one scene.  Sad to say, as bad as this movie is I will probably watch it again one of these days.


For those into trivia, according to imdb this movie has been known by a bunch of other titles:


“Attack of the Monsters”

“Gamera VS the Giant Evil Beast Guiron”

“Gamera Vs. Guillon”

“Gamera vs. Guiron”

“Gamera vs. the Devil-Beast Giron”


I am guessing that similar cheese can come in different titles.


“Gammera the Invincible”


A flight of Soviet bombers “accidentally” flies over Alaska.  U.S. interceptors shoot one of the planes down, causing a low-yield nuclear explosion.  The nuclear explosion wakes a giant prehistoric turtle called Gammera by the local Inuit.  Gammera attacks a model ship, flaming it with bad breath for good measure.  Fortunately, the crew abandoned ship just in time.  What excitement!  Did I tell you that this turtle is so cool that it walks on two legs?  Clever trick for a turtle.


A brief digression; I know in the first part of this review that I spelled Gammera with one m, and in this part with two m’s.  I was just following the convention used by the titles of the movies.


This movie digresses for a while as Gammera is walking or flying in parts unknown.  Various characters, including Brian Donlevy as General Terry Arnold and Albert Dekker as the Secretary of Defense, debate the existence of Gammera.  This movie is relatively early in the monster genre because, as any self-respecting scientist of today knows, giant monsters exist and they are nearly all genetically programmed to attack Japan for reasons that scientists have yet to discover.  Eventually the scientists and authorities bow to the overwhelming scientific evidence (footprints, sketches by small boys, anonymous phone calls, possibly including one from Kolchak, the Night Stalker) and recognize they must do something about this giant menace!


Gammera rescues a small boy (bless the monster’s heart) before going off and frying a bunch of people in a Tokyo apartment building (this is one quirky turtle).  To prepare for toasting Tokyo Gammera destroys a geothermal plant and chows down on the flames.  I guess Gammera likes hot food.  Somewhere around this point in the movie a scientist establishes that (drum roll) Gammera is not like other creatures!


The excitement builds as Gammera lands at a totally cool model airport and then begins to stomp around an excellent model of Tokyo.  We catch a bit of a song titled “Gammera” that sounds suspiciously (to me) like the theme from the 1960s television series “Batman.”  It could be coincidence, or not.


Of course there has to be a plan to deal with Gammera, since all attempts to stop him have failed.  Enter Plan Z!  Before Plan Z we see model trains and a model laboratory and more models of other stuff, and then we see the Plan Z model.  Woo hoo!  This stuff is great!  Of course, I have to leave the suspense of Plan Z to the viewer to discover.


After the success of “Godzilla,” other Japanese studios attempted to capitalize on the monster fad.  Modern audiences will find this attempt at giant monster horror more humorous than scary given today’s sophisticated special effects.  However, the models in the movie are excellent, and the laughs this movie generates for adults is worth a watch.  Young children, on the other hand, may find this movie frightening (I know I did way back in the 60s), so just because you may not find the movie frightening, do not assume the little ones won’t.


They just don’t make movies like this any more.  Thank goodness for that!