Horror Movie Reviews
More Details...Price: $14.95 |
Title: Welcome To the Jungle (2007) |
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Review of Welcome To the Jungle
- Two young couples set out to explore the jungles of New Guinea in search of Michael Rockefeller heir to the Rockefeller fortune who went missing there over 40 years ago. But their hunt for a big payday turns them into the hunted as the native cannibals track their every move and incomprehensible bloodshed awaits at the gory end. System Requirements:Run Time: 83 minutesFormat: DVD MOVIE Genre: HORROR/SLASHER MOVIES UPC: 796019807531 Manufacturer No: 80753
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Comments for Welcome To the Jungle
- Posted on 2008-06-15
I'm a try my best to never shop drunk again!
"Quite possibly the most terrifying film of the last decade." That line alone normally would have been more than enough for the red flag to go up. But thanks to my weekly retox session, it didn't go up at all. I found this cheap addition to the cannibal genre boring to say the least.
From my perspective, there was nothing to like at all. Bad story. Who the hell cares about some rich guy whose been missing for like 40 years? And getting to the characters. They were annoying beyond all belief and completely unrealistic. I just don't believe anyone would have carried on the way they did. It was just impossible to take this garbage serious. The death scenes mostly happened off screen. There was only one truly disturbing scene. But by this time I completely lost interest. Man, I can go on and on about this, soon-to-be-coaster right here. I doubt even gorehounds will be pleased, the gore is weak. I hate this movie.
Even though this isn't a Cannibal Holocaust knock off(more a Blair Witch knockoff). It sure does make me appreciate The Caust a hell of a lot more. That was a cannibal documentary style film done right. The other reviewers who say this movie is horrible, are telling the truth.
Score: 1
- Posted on 2008-04-05
Quite possibly the worst...
The DVD cover contains a quote: "Quite possibly the most terrifying film of the last decade." Say what? Here's my quote: "Quite possibly the worst film of the last century." What a total waste of time...and money. I bought the DVD for a penny...but had to pay $2.99 for shipping. It was still a rip-off...one of the worst (worthless) films ever. And how can producer Gale Ann Hurd allow them to put her name on the cover with her credits for such classic films as "The Terminator" and "Aliens"? Sounds to me like Gale is desperate...but I'm not. I'll never buy another film produced by her...ever. What an embarrassment to the film industry. Shame on you...and "shame on YOU (the viewer)" if you buy/watch this abomination.
Score: 1 - Posted on 2008-02-20
Disappointing
As you've no doubt read from previous reviews, the DVD packaging and description of Welcome to the Jungle would make you think that this is a 21st century Cannibal Holocaust. Well, as you've no doubt figured out by now, it ain't. Welcome to the Jungle is instead an ill-fated semi-character study that follows a group of people (Sandy Gardiner, Callard Harris, Nick Richey, and Veronica Sywak) as they head into the New Guinea jungles in search of the heir to the Rockefeller fortune, who has been missing since 1961. We get to know this crew, for quite a while, before there is any action with cannibal tribesmen. All the build-up would be acceptable with we actually came to like the characters here and there were ample amounts of blood and gore (which are usually synonymous with cannibal flicks), but alas, the characters are annoying (and the acting is pretty bad to boot), and there is barely any blood to be found. Written and directed by Jonathan Hensleigh (the writer/director of 2004's The Punisher), Welcome to the Jungle is dreadfully underwhelming to say the least. While Hensleigh's filming technique offers a bit in the realm of suspense, it doesn't last long. Not to mention that at a brisk 80 plus minute running time, the film just feels poorly conceived. All in all, Welcome to the Jungle is an example of not judging a book by its cover. The film isn't scary, and old fans of the cannibal genre will be extremely disappointed with the end result here. That aside, the film may be worth a look at the very least for horror fans, but there isn't enough here to really recommend it.
Score: 2
- Posted on 2008-02-10
Welcome to the Jungle, We'd Love to have you for Dinner.
Well it definitely ain't Cannibal Holocaust, that's for sure,
but it's does have a few of it's own moments.
None nearly as graphic or remotely as brutal, mind you.
Four morons set out into the jungle in search of the lost Rockerfeller, in hopes of rescuing him, and claiming the million dollar reward.
What they find instead is hostile, blood-thirsty, cannibals who paint themselves white, and well.....they eat morons.
The dialogue is juvenile, but it keeps the story moving.
Struggles within the surrounding communities, as well highway robberies, prevent the viewer from losing interest before entering the jungle.
Once inside the green labyrinth away from civilization confrontations flare, and the stupidity flows in abundance.
Obvious connections will be drawn between this and "The Blair Witch Project" due to the identical style and pace.
But this flick had one thing going for it that it's predecessor didn't.
A visible, tangible enemy.
If "Blair Witch" ended with cannibals, you'd essentially have this flick.
Sadly though, none of the violence takes place onscreen,
all you're ever witness to is the bloody aftermath,
(chick hung from a pole through her head, various organs and limbs scattered about, and a writhing, limbless wonder)
My one major gripe is that they don't even bother to show the cannibals eating people.
Which is insane, considering this is a cannibal movie!!
But like I said it does have it's few redeeming moments.
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Easy Money comes with Hard Consequences
Score: 3
- Posted on 2008-02-09
WELCOME TO THE BUNGLE
This is the movie that does disservice to cannibal movies. Four of the stupidest college-age kids venture into the jungle of New Guinea in the hopes of solving the mystery of the disappearance of Michael Rockefeller in 1961. They meet up with a friendly bunch of natives who actually hand a cigarette lighter with Rockefellers initials to our quartet of dopes. Huh?
Twice in the movie each couple construct a raft and as they are floating along they become nervous when they see an increasing crowd of seemingly hostile natives carrying spears and bow and arrows. So what do our genius's do? They dock the raft onshore and start running through the jungle with the cannibals in hot pursuit. What????
So the obvious happens. They get eaten and the cannibals get indigestion.
Score: 1