Attack From Space 2004 Horror Movie Review

Starman may well be the silliest superhero to ever save the Earth from destruction.  Once you see his patented twirling exit, it’s impossible to take this guy the least bit seriously - and that’s before you even see him fight.  Of course, he’s a stud back home on the Emerald Planet, which is apparently populated by discarded robot models designed and made by some unnamed elementary school students.  The sad part is that the Earth actually needs this doughy guy to pull our butts out of the fire - again.  He had already saved the Earth from the would-be Atomic Rulers of the World.  Now it’s those unruly ruffians from the Sapphire Galaxy out to conquer the universe - starting with the Earth.  These fascist aliens (the Superians) threaten the entire universe with their nuclear weapons, they are able to send giant space stations across the galaxy, they’ve infiltrated all aspects of Earth society with their network of spies, and they even have this super mind-wiper gizmo - yet, somehow, they don’t know how to design a decent engine for a spaceship.  Uh, okay.  That’s why they kidnap a Japanese scientist who is putting the finishing touches on his own shiny new spaceship - which is to be used for only peaceful purposes, of course.  The plan is to get the geek scientist’s plans for an engine, build lots of ships, and then attack the Earth.  It would have worked, too, if it hadn’t been for those durned kids - and Starman, of course.


So what makes Starman a superhero?  Well, thanks to his alien technology (basically a fancy wris[**]ch called a globemeter), he has the ability to fly through space, detect radiation, speak every language on earth, and whatever other powers prove convenient as the movie goes along.  He can also survive and breathe in space, but that doesn’t really count since everyone in this movie can do the same thing.  Oh yeah, his body is also apparently made of steel or something, as no one can hurt him with any kind of weapon.  Mostly, though, Starman just likes to fight.  You haven’t seen pitifully choreographed fight scenes until you’ve seen Starman’s seemingly endless battle against the aliens on their space station.  He just kind of throws his arms up every now and again - well, suffice to say it’s extremely silly-looking.  And it goes on forever and a day, since he never really hurts anybody at all.


The Japanese have made some pretty campy sci-fi films over the years, but these Starman movies, which actually consist of footage taken from the old Super Giant television serials, take the proverbial cake.  Any bad guy with an ounce of self-respect would die laughing at the sight of this paunchy, uncoordinated, spandex-clad do-gooder, yet his unique fighting “skills” and general peskiness strike fear in the hearts of the Superians.  If you can’t get enough old, extremely campy sci-fi films with truly embarrassing special effects, then you, my friend, must introduce yourself to Starman without delay.  This guy makes the Prince of Space look like a stud.