Paranoid 2001 Horror Movie Review

Paranoid (John Duigan, 2000)


There are some movies that make me wonder, after I have suffered through them, what on Earth anyone involved in making them was thinking. Paranoid may be the best example of this I have ever come across. Jessica Alba was fresh off the success of Idle Hands. Iain Glen was in something of a slump, but did have The Wyvern Mystery coming out that year. Jeanne Tripplehorn had just done the wonderful Very Bad Things, and was actually at the high point of her career (despite the dire predictions made by everyone, myself included, that Waterworld would sink the careers of everyone involved). Ewen Bremner had just become the darling of critics everywhere as the title character in Julien Donkey-Boy and was about to achieve major commercial success with Snatch. And all one needs to say about Mischa Barton is The Sixth Sense. Now, how on earth did John Duigan manage to get all these people to appear in this utter dog of a film?


I grant you, when Duigan’s on his game, as with Wide Sargasso Sea or Lawn Dogs, he’s capable of turning out a relatively good film, sometimes bordering on greatness. But when he misses, he shoots so wide of the mark that one often wonders if it’s the same director—and Paranoid is the biggest miss of Duigan’s career. Aside from a couple of what one can assume (based on interviews Alba has given about later films) are body-double glimpses of a half-naked Alba (and a number of other model-type girls) at the beginning of the flick, and a bunch of model-shots of Alba in some pretty nifty lingerie ads, only the most hardcore Jessica Alba fan is going to get anything at all out of this tired, predictable, not-even-a-smidge-as-kinky-as-it-thinks-it-is “thriller.” It’s the only movie I can think of that I could possibly describe as being as erotic as Eyes Wide Shut, as mysterious as Mother, May I Sleep with Danger?, and as dangerous as Path of Destruction (or fill in any other Sci-Fi Channel Original Movie here). “Bad” does not even begin to sum it up. I cannot recommend highly enough that you avoid this movie at all costs. *