My Bloody Valentine 2002 Horror Movie Review

This bizarre little horror movie is set in the mining town of Valentine Bluffs, which may be in Canada, though the odd, indeterminate accents of the cast are perhaps meant to suggest that it is truly a regionless everyland. In a cruel twist of fate, the Bluffers have not celebrated Valentine’s Day in 20 years due to a terrible mining accident. This year is to be the first return of the Valentine’s Dance—repeatedly described by adults as the biggest event of the year—but someone (or something?) is trying to put a stop to the fun by delivering heart-shaped candy boxes with real hearts in them. The dance is called off in the name of public safety, the young (well, youngish) people decide to hold a party inside the mine instead, and if you think we’re getting out of this one without someone getting a pickax through the chest, you have no business watching slasher movies.  —Ali Davis